We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
Randomize
