PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
Randomize
