she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Randomize
