why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
Randomize
