Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
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