There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
Randomize
