I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
