Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
Randomize