This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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