A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
Im part way to drunk.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
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