Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
Randomize
