Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
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