he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
I lost the right to judge tonight
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
Randomize
