just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
