The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
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