Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
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