I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
It's never too late to be topless.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
We have so much sex to catch up on
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Randomize
