at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
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