Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
Randomize
