i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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