Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
You were trust falling into bushes
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
Randomize
