Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
I can text with my tongue
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
I just sucked dick on a ferry
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
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