Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
Randomize