Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
