Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Randomize
