i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
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