i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
Randomize
