so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Randomize