Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
Randomize