they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
