Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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