but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize
