You work out of a Hotel?
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
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