Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
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