dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
Randomize