I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
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