I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
I think I just saw someone hide a body.
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Randomize