I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
Randomize
