were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Randomize
