Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
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