i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Randomize
