you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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