I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
Randomize
