I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
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