i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
Dicks are not precious.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
