I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
Randomize
