I smell stomach acid.
No stitches, just platelets and will power
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
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