Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
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