i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
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