Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
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