I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize
