he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
Randomize