you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
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