I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize