you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
