Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
You are the jesus of drinking
Randomize
