i barfeds in our rink
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
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