I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize
