i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
