i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
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